Leaders with ‘attitude’.

attitude is everything
Genuine “Leaders” have an attitude about them

Have you ever noticed that the leaders you admire have an ‘attitude’ about them?

This is because people who are true ‘leaders’ are not easily discouraged by obstacles and issues that might deter others. In fact, they don’t see them as “obstacles and issues,” but problems to solve and situations to work through.

A real leader will work and play hard to find and keep their ‘team’ and or business together.

In essence….

Leaders are not daunted by failure:
Leaders believe that if you fear failure too much then you’ll have a hard time getting past breakfast!

Leaders are not daunted by rising before the sun does:
Show me a successful lazy entrepreneur and I’ll show you a purple horse. A true leader will work as hard as you.

Leaders are not daunted by hard work:
In fact they don’t think of it as “work.” Instead they think of it as an investment in you, their team and the business….in your joint business partnership.

Leaders are not daunted by risk:
Too much risk is seldom good; but nothing really innovatively great is ever accomplished without some degree of risk, very often there can be quite a bit of risk to achieving greatness.

Leaders not daunted by ownership and responsibility:
Leaders have no choice but to take it, Leaders believe that if you want the rewards then you and they have to ‘go with the flow’ and also take ownership and responsibility along the way.

Leaders are not daunted by conflict:
Conflict is the currency of leadership; you have to be able to handle it effectively or your team, and other colleagues won’t want to follow you.

Leaders are not daunted by what they can’t see with the naked eye:
Vision in a business means looking past the horizon to opportunity invisible to others.

Leaders are not daunted by bare forearms:
As in the kind that goes with rolled-up sleeves and being part of a wider team.

Leaders re not daunted by the unknown:
True leaders work at their business relationships and look for new ideas. They are open to try new things to maintain their business growth.

Leaders are not daunted by admitting fault:
A real leader instinctively know that too much hubris, excessive pride or arrogance and they will have trouble being with others, which of course they need to in order to accomplish what they want and need to be fulfilled themselves.

Daunted by ‘leadership’?
Are you or any of your team daunted by ‘leadership’?

If you would like to learn more about our “Mentoring and Coaching Programmes” or just simply require some “Inspirational Leadership Training” then please feel free to contact us.

Trisha Proud
Partners in Solutions Ltd


Why sleep is so important

Sleeping at work
Rested – Ready for the week?

Apparently it is a little known secret that sleep is critical, not just for beauty rest, but for plenty of health reasons; not least of which is that getting enough sleep helps us perform better in our jobs!

Doing things that are not really relevant
Sadly it has become acceptable and even encouraged in business today to ‘stay busy’. Nature cycles and human beings are a part of this nature. When we disrupt our natural sleep cycles in favour of ‘getting more done,’ we actually become less effective. Typically, because we don’t take time to reflect on what is purposeful and important to us, we often find ourselves doing things that are not really relevant to our own aims, goals and desires

Are some of you thinking, ‘what aims, goals and desires?’ There are an awful lot of people out there that have lost sight of what is truly important to them.

To-do lists good or bad?
As a trainer of “time management” I advocate ‘to-do lists’ but I don’t advocate becoming addicted to them! For many they have become addicted to ‘to-do’ lists without holding a clear endgame goal in mind. This is energetically inefficient and physically draining. There’s typically no passion in this and thus it becomes no more than hard work instead of enjoyable. It can also take much longer to do, when we are not focused.

De-valuing self-nurturance
Also, because many business cultures tend to de-value self-nurturance, play, and creative relaxing pursuits, many people feel guilty or invalidated by those around them, when they attempt to live with more work vs. life balance.

Be courageous – create space
It takes courage and vision to create space in your life, so that you can stay healthy in spirit, mind and body. It takes courage to listen to your heart above the noise of the many distractions vying for your attention and money. And it will take courage and focused attention to slow down in the evening, early enough to get your mind and body prepared to go to sleep at a decent hour. On average, it is aid that we need at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night.

What are the benefits of sleep?
1. Improved memory: sleep helps to integrate learning. Greater focus and concentration improves with a good night’s sleep.

2. Stress reduction: sleep restores the body and mind and helps to balance well-being. When we are too stressed, it may be more difficult to sleep at night and this can become a vicious cycle. When we don’t get enough sleep, it makes it more difficult to deal with stress.

3. Bodily healing and rejuvenation: sleep reduces inflammation in the body. Chronic inflammation is associated with heart attack, stroke, premature aging, diabetes and arthritis

Don’t be short-sighted
Life is not a sprint, it is a long-distance journey. It is short-sighted to abuse your mind and body, as in the long run. Stress and lack of sleep not only makes you less productive, it can accelerate the aging process and even contribute to other diseases. Be wise. Be courageous. Take good care of yourself and expand the vision for your life – with purpose.

Manage your time better
Sleep should not be regarded as a luxury; is a means of rejuvenating your mind and body in readiness for the workload ahead. So make sure that you get enough rest and relaxation time in order to performance your job better!

If you would like to learn more about how to manage your stress, time and workloads better then please contact us.
Trisha Proud
Partners in Solutions Ltd

Emotions Matter!

Emotions 1
Are you an emotional decision maker?
All of us make decisions – everyday, whether at home, work or simply just socializing. There surely can be no doubt that this is a key skill to master.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming or NLP tells us that there are primarily four types of people:
• Kinaesthetic
• Visual
• Auditory
• Auditory Visual

The name Neuro-Linguistic Programming was invented in the early 1970’s as an attempt to describe in a succinct manner the scope of this extensive body of insights and skills:
Neuro refers to how the mind and body interact

Linguistic refers to the insights into a person’s thinking that can be obtained by careful attention to their use of language

Programming refers, not to the activity of programming, but to the study of the thinking and behavioural patterns or ‘programmes’ which people use in their daily lives.

Dependant on what NLP category you are likely, (not always) but more often likely to make decisions based on:
• What you feel and sense and can physically touch
• What you can see
• What you can hear
• What details, facts and figures there are to help support your decision

Clearly the latter category makes decisions on less ‘emotion’.

Although neuroscience has built a strong body of evidence over the years to demonstrate the inextricable link between reason, emotion and decision-making most of mainstream culture is still not on board with it.

As a management trainer I often recommend keeping emotion out of decision-making and that professionals leave their feelings at home when they are at work. There are some that still believe that women, especially, wear the mantle of emotionality in the workplace and that these women still feel the need to compensate by subduing the expression of their feelings and thoughts. This surely cannot be healthy.

Although neuroscience has built a strong body of evidence over twenty-five years to demonstrate the inextricable link between reason, emotion and decision-making most of mainstream culture still doesn’t get it.

Mainstream thinking about reason over emotion is generally based on two assumptions:
1. That we have a choice whether to feel or not
2. That emotional “suppression” works.

Hooray! – The brain does make decisions based on feeling
Research has found that there can be significant consequences when you try to push away thoughts and feelings; a ‘rebound’ effect. Simply put, these strategies often backfire and result in an increase of the intensity of the thoughts and emotions that are being suppressed.

In the book: “How we decide” by Jonah Lehrer; it the case that rationality depends on emotion. Motivation is driven by feeling, not intellect. Lehrer points out, “Emotion and motivation share the same Latin root, movere, which means to move. The world is full of things and it is our feelings that help us choose among them.”

Avoiding analysis-paralysis
Many of us try to rule out the emotional side of decision-making only to find we become stuck in so-called analysis-paralysis. We often avoid making decisions or make them hastily because we want to skip the feeling part, not only unavoidable, it’s short-sighted.

There continues to be a protracted controversy between pundits over reason and intuition, which is another version of the ancient reason over emotion battle. Lehrer makes the critical point that our emotional brains are deeply empirical and that every time you make a mistake or encounter something new, your brain cells are busy changing themselves. Emotions are profoundly smart and constantly learning, they are not simply animal instincts that must be tamed.

Balancing 7 + 2
What is known as the “7 plus or minus 2” rule is based on the research that short-term memory capacity varies from being able to hold between 4 and 9 bits of information at one time. When faced with too many variables, the brain simply makes the wrong decision because its resources are overburdened.

The Chunking Principle:• Chunking is a principle that applies to the effective communication of information between human beings.
• It is particularly useful in the domain of written communication.
• It was first put forward in the 1950s by George A. Miller.
• Miller studied the short term memory.

In 1952, George A. Miller published a paper titled:
“The Magical Number Seven; Plus or Minus Two”

Today chunking is a term used in NLP to describe the process of grouping items into larger or smaller groups (or “chunks”) Chunking helps you to organise your thinking in order to better handle information and make decisions. So you need to make sure that you can optimize your decision-making process but not taking on too much.

Left and right brains
You have to build capacity in both your left and right brains; in other words the rational and the emotional. They are magically interlinked to ensure that we maximize the understanding of the world around us and the world within ourselves.

Emotions matters!
And finally, remember……. Emotions and feelings are not a luxury; they are a means of communicating our states of mind to others. But they are also a way of guiding our own judgments and decisions. Emotions bring the body into the loop of reason. So if you make decisions ‘with emotion’ then give yourself a pat on the back!

If not and you would like to learn more then please contact us.
Trisha Proud
Partners in Solutions Ltd

Balancing Reciprocity

The meaning of reciprocity….
We all want the people that we come across in life, especially in business, to know and understand the meaning of “reciprocity”….and more importantly to practice it!

This complicated word describes a great and effective approach to our relationship with the world and those who we encounter along the way. But is it really that complicated?

According to the ancient philosopher Confucius, reciprocity signifies “mutuality, interchange, duality, interdependence.” Derived from Latin, “reciprocus” has the connotation of altruism, making a sacrifice, alternation.

Or put very simply…. it is the art of give and take. Life becomes unbalanced when we do more giving and others do more taking.

The art of reciprocity is extremely powerful
Never doubt how powerful the art of reciprocity is and how by not adopting its principals it can adversely impact on business relationships.

It is often said that ‘what goes round, comes around’ and the basis of this saying can be found in the law of reciprocity.

So ask yourself, what are you prepared to offer your business partner, collegue or to other people around you? How far are you ready to stretch yourself in order to reach out to these people? What do you ask for as compensation or as thanks in return?

Our reciprocity needs

It is obvious from the experiences that we have in life that, consciously or subconsciously, having given to another human being, we anticipate a favour in return for when we need it. Disputing whether this is right or wrong would be fruitless, as for most people and in most circumstances, other than charitable giving, and help or support for the needy, reciprocity is something we have inherently come to expect. That said it is also about balancing our reciprocity expectations and questioning whether or not they are realistic.

True and genuine people
A true and genuine person is open to the world and cherishes their relationships. Gracious, giving and protective of their own families, friends and lovers, but yes the flip side is that they expect the same from others……in the form of reciprocity…. and when it comes to business relationships reciprocity under these circumstances is not unreasonable.

Playing by the reciprocity rules
Reciprocity could be described as “playing by the rules”, allowing for “fair game”, and in an ideal world should form part of your business relationship ‘guiding principles”…
– Meet me halfway, as we are there waiting for you
– Nurture our relationship, as what we reap ….we shall sow
– Be insightful and considerate, as we are to you
– Aspire with us and our shared dreams will come true faster
– Cheer for us and we will double our victories
– Rejoice with us and our celebrations will multiply
– Live, achieve and prosper with us
– The objectives become closer when we walked and work together
– Reciprocate to us as we have pledged our reciprocity to you

Key to reciprocity relationships
Reciprocity is the key to good business relationships, but remember that it is always better to give than to receive…..and also at the end of the day a real, true, genuine life lasting ‘business relationship is all about ‘balance’ as well as reciprocity.

Does the business partner you work with practice reciprocity?
If not then please contact me
Trisha Proud
Partners in Solutions Ltd

Beauty of knowledge

It is said that we are all masters of our own destiny……

Knowledge is an acquired quality
How many times in your life have you regretted that you did not know enough, have not read more to show your intelligence and enhance your image and confidence in a business conversation or situation? It happens to the best of us; however how many of us become determined to educate ourselves, to be wittier, better informed, and faster thinking.

Knowledge is an acquired quality – it is not inborn.

You choose
The choice to be educated or not, to be on top of things, is always ours to create and make. Some people make it earlier, some make it later, and sadly some don’t make it at all. Yet, let us be honest about it and admit it, if only to ourselves, there is no better reason for self-content and pride, than the feeling that you can carry on an interesting or important conversation, operate and utilise the facts, understand your counterpart, and stand steadfast on your own.

The beauty of knowledge
Intelligence is a chosen path for those who appreciate the importance and beauty of this personal skill. It becomes a part of who you are, the image you project to the world, an inalienable ingredient of your own self-perception. Obtaining knowledge is a matter of choice and, in fact, a simple thing to acquire, when you have made your decision to acquire it, committed to it and, once commenced, you never abandon the process.

Here are some simple steps to you get started:

Tip 1: Have ‘vision’ and stay focused

Whatever business situation you are in have a ‘vision’ as to what you personally want to achieve from it and equally important stay focussed on that vision. Take in and absorb all the information and process it. Try to analyse it yourself and make your own decisions. When talking on a subject, do not lose the topic; rather, stay on it until you have finished or the discussion is over, or at the very least agreed an outcome. This will help you to consolidate your thoughts and allow your listeners to come up with any comments or arguments unencumbered.

A focused mind is able to expand and store new information more effectively.

Tip 2: Be mentally active
As a trainer, business coach and mentor I always encourage my mentees to have the brightest mind. This is a matter of personal choice, whether you are an avid stamp collector; love reading or are a film buff, train and exercise your brain, every day. Remember the smallest details of a conversation or task and analyse the ideas, complexity and outcomes.

Tip 3: Stimulate your brain
Load your mind with analysis and decision-making even in simple everyday situations. Take an unusual task to resolve, stay on it, and celebrate the results that will follow. The satisfaction you will experience will be very rewarding. Our mind needs a constant challenge to stay on top of the game. The routines we are accustomed to at work do not do the job. Challenge your brain with cross words, puzzles and games, like Sudoku or chess, etc.

Tip 4: Get trained, get a coach or a mentor
There comes a time in everybody’s development when they need support to improve their knowledge. This is perfectly normally and when that time arrives should not be ignored, as this is the time when many managers reach their peak and will not develop further without training or the wise advice and support of a coach or mentor. Everybody, not matter what level they are in business needs a mentor.

If this is you….seek training and support now!

Tip 5: Be your own master – make your own decisions
There is nothing wrong with seeking an advice. But doing it on a regular basis might be damaging for your mind, self-growth, and ability to make your own decisions based on your own analysis. Face the challenge by yourself and only after the decision has been made, bring it to the table for a discussion…… if you want to. Stand by your decision and defend your point of view. Even if you lost and opted for another solution, you have just acquired a priceless experience and your brain has gone through a very good and useful exercise.

Tip 6: Read, read and read
If you are reading this blog then well done! Stay informed on the latest happenings in the world, expand your vocabulary, stimulate your brain with the masterpieces of world literature, enrich your erudition, and put it to use whenever you have an opportunity. Reading good books is a rewarding way to expand your knowledge, boost your intelligence and please your heart and soul. Good books stay with you forever, and once in a while, as you go through life, you return to them. And guess what – it is amazing how your perception changes as you read the old book anew! You know why? Because you have changed, and the ways you perceive and analyse information will have been modified as well.

Positive outcomes
Last but not least. Obtaining greater knowledge helps you enjoy your times with yourself. Consequently, it boosts your self-esteem and you acquire a great new business partner …. your improved knowledgeable self. And what can be better than being content with who you are, the way you…….a more intelligent you!

Do you need help improving your knowledge?………then contact us today.
Trisha Proud
Managing Partner
Partners in Solutions Ltd

Are you built to succeed?

Building blocks of success
Have you ever wondered what qualities successful people have or why so many people struggle to make their dreams come true? Well here are a few top tips to help you on the road to achieving success.

Only you can truly visualise your success; therefore you need to sets goals and systematically works towards them. If you want to achieve success, you must define your main objectives. Then, break it down into few simpler ones……and set about working on them as they won’t happen by themselves!

You need to be self-disciplined to plan your day and the actions you need to do to achieve success; and then follow through the tasks you have set yourself.

Successful people believe in their skills and talents. Their self-esteem is high. If you don’t believe in yourself you cannot expect others to!

Determination and Optimism
The road to success is never easy so in order to prosper, you need to be utterly determined and develop an optimistic positive view of the world in equal measures.

Timing it is said is everything; therefore it is obvious that ‘patience’ should be a key quality of successful people. Patience is the ability to wait for the fruits of your labour to ripen or for a favourable moment in important negotiations. Knowing when to strike is an important part of practicing patience.

Be a risk-taker
If you are afraid of failure and risk, you will never succeed. At the same time, don’t make hasty decisions. Trust your intuition and weigh up all pros and cons. And if you finally choose risk, take it easy, do it with no fear or regret. There are very few successful people that have not taken risks.

Take ‘ownership’ of what you do and why you do it and become the master of your life in order to create your profit and the life and success that you have always dreamed of.

Emotional Intelligent and Resilience
Ability to control your own emotions and also be able to understand others emotions particularly under stress together with the ability be resilient to stress, is absolutely pivotal for someone who wants to succeed.

Vitality and enthusiasm are qualities that are absolutely essential for successful. They help drive you forward towards your goals. You need energy to succeed. Successful people have high energy. So take care of your health, eat wisely and exercise regularly.

Quite frankly, if you are a lazy coach potato, if you delegate tasks believing that you have abdicated the responsibility, then it is highly unlikely that you will achieve success. Action and consistent hard work is what counts and what at the end of the day pays off.

Are you built to succeed?
If not and you would like some training, coaching or mentoring then please contact me

Trisha Proud
Partners in Solutions Ltd


Handling opposing opinions with humility

Humility109 Correction
Stupid idea…???
How often have you been in a business brain storming meeting and thought: “What a stupid idea” as you listen to your colleague, or thought: “That will never work.”

What is important here is that you don’t let these inner thoughts allow you to slip into being disrespectful in that moment. By saying “That’s a stupid or silly idea,” is disrespectful. Saying, “That’s an interesting idea,” is dishonest.

Jean Piaget (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Piaget) studied how human beings grow up. He tested children through a block painted green on one side and red on the other. Facing the child, he held the block between them with the green side pointed toward him and the red side pointed toward the child. When he asked, “What color do you see?” the child always answered, “red.” Then Piaget asked, “What color do I see?” Most children younger than 5 years old answered, “Red.” They were incapable of recognizing that other would see something different from them. Older children gave the correct answer. They understood that while they saw red, Piaget saw green. They demonstrated a sense of perspective, the ability to appreciate another’s point of view. Many so-called grownups have never developed this skill.

Many people have forty+ years of experience in being three.
An adult child never questions their perspective; because they believe that they are right, and whoever disagrees with them is wrong. It is their way or the highway.

True employee engagement
Businesses that have true employee engagement have a culture that ‘no idea is stupid’. “Stupid” is an arrogant opinion, an unskillful way of expressing that an idea is not liked, understood or see the potential in the idea has not been seen. Whatever the reason, you can be sure that its proponent does not think the idea is stupid.

Arrogance vs. humility
The opposite of arrogance is humility (from the Latin “humus,” meaning ground.) A humble person does not place themselves above others; they do not pretend to hold a privileged position. Humility is the acknowledgment that you do not have a special claim on reality or truth, that others have equally valid perspectives deserving respect and consideration. Successful businesses have mature teams that have and understand the importance of humility.

Different persepctives
There are many ways to look at the world, and each way has its brightness and its blind spots. Only humility can integrate diverse perspectives into an inclusive view. Humility makes sense intellectually, but it is not our natural attitude. It requires, at least, the cognitive development of a six-year-old.

What age is the humility in your business?
If you feel that it needs to mature then please contact us.

Trisha Proud
Partners in Solutions Ltd


Link-up or Lock out?

Link-up or Lock out-Blog
To coin a phrase from the gorgeous Chris Evans….”Here’s the thing”……….
I recently attended a women’s networking event; which was all rather strange in itself as this was advertised as a Women in Business Event but actually had men attending! This piece is all about inclusion and embracing the people you meet, so good on them, how brave I thought; albeit I also thought it rather belied the name and purpose of the event and in some cases diluted the messages of the lady speakers. After all this was a women’s networking event and I (and I know others) did find it a little disconcerting to have a man touting his wares and using the event to flog his services!

No matter, back to the plot….to “here’s the thing”………one of the break-out workshops was a session on ‘Personal Branding’ which unbeknown to me I had been assigned to attend. The speaker was fun and engaging but most definitely could not be described as a professional speaker; maybe it was the swearing that gave it away! Nevertheless this did not distract too much from the key messages she wanted to deliver.

There were of course all the usual personal branding messages about appearance, smiling, being open etc and also about how important it is to network, to get your brand ‘out there’; to create a good first impression. This speaker made a great play at not being afraid to take the bull by the horns and be master of one’s own destiny. As an example of this she stated firmly that when attending any networking event you should never leave a person you might have ‘touched base’ with, or been involved with in a longer conversation without exchanging business cards. Therefore when we met in the bar afterwards I thanked her for her interesting talk and gave her my card.

The next day she invited me to join her on Twitter and LinkedIn which I was more than happy to do. But ‘here’s the thing’……….when I accepted her LinkedIn invitation I noticed that she had ‘hidden’ her contacts from me. Now I always find it really odd that people join a business networking site and then ‘hide’ their connections!

I know and appreciate that LinkedIn has the facility to do this, however this lady met me at a networking event, she had spoken at some length for an hour in fact about personal branding and networking. I therefore don’t feel that I am being unreasonable to think it odd that she would hide her network from me. In my heart I don’t believe this is quite in the spirit of how LinkedIn is supposed to work!

Furthermore I truly believe that if one is brilliant at their job, if you have created a good first impression and people generally like you because you are open, honest and genuine and embrace the people you meet and do business with then nobody being invited into your network is surely a real threat.

I guess that there are givers and takers in this world and that when people who profess to be active net workers, purporting to be givers when in reality they are really takers, then sadly people like me get mugged, which is most irksome. As part of her talk this lady spoke about the importance of making a good first impression, well all I can say is that she has left a lasting impression on me. With one quick click of the ‘hide my contacts’ button this lady has wiped out all the good messages she had delivered in her talk, and in doing so has told me all I needed to know about her……..I will let you guess whether this was a good or bad first impression!

So …”here’s the thing”……..what is your view….Link-up or Lock out?


The Pretty Women Effect

Pretty Women099 Correction
The story of the film “Pretty Woman” centers on the down-on-her-luck Hollywood prostitute Vivian Ward, played by Julia Roberts, who is hired by a wealthy businessman, Edward Lewis, played by Richard Gere, to be his escort for several business and social functions, and their developing relationship over the course of Vivian’s week-long stay with him.

There cannot be many women out there that can fail to remember those infamous scenes in the movie, where Julia Robert’s character (Vivian Ward) walks into a shop on Rodeo Drive. The shop assistants look her up and down disdainfully instantly adopting the “you don’t belong here” attitude, making the very attractive Vivien feel extremely venerable and out of place. Vivien leaves the shop with hurt feelings and no self-confidence.

There can be no doubt that many women will identify with this. Surely in today’s world every person, every customer should be treated equally as if they were royalty in fact! It really shouldn’t matter what you, or your bank account looks like. Sadly though we see the “Pretty Woman Effect” all too often; people judging other people by the first impressions they have of them or by their outward appearances; as in the case of this movie.

There are many people though that relishes these experiences, saying that it makes them spiritually stronger. They are of the belief that there are no such things as coincidences that every interaction such as this, everybody we meet, we meet for a reason, and that it is just a simple case of discovering what that reason is. This of course is not as easy as it might sound, particularly if you are being ridiculed like the character Vivien Ward in Pretty Women.

When interviewing women for my novel “Soulmate” several of them mentioned that they had experienced the ‘pretty women effect’ when searching for their “Soulmate”. When, as part of my research, I probed further I found that women more than men believed in this spiritual ethos. Women will readily tell you that they have experienced times when they feel alone and venerable or are alone in a room but just know instinctively that they are not alone, because they have an absolute sense of some unexplained spiritual awareness.

Through my research I discovered that the majority of people did not believe that spiritual awareness was related to any religious belief, as one might first assume; but moreover as alluded to above that it is based on the belief that that there are no such things as coincidences; as the Richard Gere’s character (Edward Lewis) explained in the film, endorsing the fact that he was meant to meet Vivien Ward (Julia Roberts), and as such they were meant to be together.

Fascinated by this belief that everybody you meet you meet for a reason, as additional research I read other books on spiritual awareness and started to believe in this principal even greater after reading The Celestine Prophesy by James Redfield, which had such a profound affect on me that I have followed the principles within this book ever since. I also believe in “Karma Neutral”; by this I mean what you give is what you get, this belief also is partly based on my reading The Celestine Prophecy.

Although a work of fiction, The Celestine Prophesy attracts many readers because it deals with spiritualization, growth and even our reason for being here. This may at first be seen as quite “heavy stuff”; the learning though is interspersed within the story. In brief, this is the tale of a man who goes in search of ancient manuscripts in the rain forests of Peru, having been told about them by a friend. The book then follows his journey and as he finds each manuscript, he shares the insights and messages with the reader.

The Celestine Prophecy contains secrets that are changing our world and the way we think. Drawing inspiration from ancient wisdom, the book urges the reader to make connections amongst the events happening in their own life right now, which the book describes as not a mere coincidence, but a message or indication from a different energy level.

There are several insights that build on the above, below are the key ones that most of the women I interviewed resonate with:
1. Everything happens for a reason, there is no such thing as coincidence
2. We should keep ourselves open and should be ready to receive from others
3. Think about every meeting we have and be aware of the energy we give out and take from others.

So next time you experience or have a ‘‘pretty women’ moment just stop and think why it might have happened. Who is it you have met through this experience and why have your paths crossed. You never know you might meet your own Richard Gere…….your very own “Soulmate”



Givers and Takers

Givers&Takers098 Correction

As a general rule of thumb it is said that it is better to give than to receive; this ethos presumably supports the notion that we all follow the principal of treating others as you would wish to be treated ourselves.

Within my novel “Soulmate” I have research various ‘life lessons’ on false flattery, betrayal, injustice, deceit and the hardest lesson of all of course, the lesson of love; one aspect that quickly became clear was that without exception there are most definitely two types of people in life…”Givers”….and “Takers”

“Givers” are not only generous people by nature not limited to particularly in financial terms, but they ‘give’ endless, of themselves, or their time. We can all most probably think of the “Givers” that we know and have met through our lives. We remember “Givers” with a warm heart as their kindest stays with us long after they have left. We all like to think of ourselves as “Givers”. Every women I interviewed who was searching for her ‘soulmate’ wanted to meet a “Giver”.

On the other hand “Takers” are basically only interested in themselves, they only contact you when they want something and will rarely, if ever ask how ‘you’ are. They are by nature intrinsically insincere and will often display a very different persona in private to the one they show in public. “Takers” like to talk about themselves and have this somewhat unique and rather irritating technique of being able to turn any conversation, on any subject matter back to them and their needs.

Utterly ruthless, in both persistence and pursuance “Takers” chew away at the bone like a rabid dog until they get what they want.  The old adage of if you cannot say something nice then better not to say anything at all does not appear in the “Takers” mind-set. They speak negatively about people who don’t or won’t do what they want or who challenge them in any way. 

As hard as it may be to believe “Takers” are more often than not insure. They will endeavour to disguise their insecurities by being full of their own self importance, name dropping whenever possible to raise their perceived level of importance; because they like to talk about themselves they will brag about whose company they have been in, who they know and what they have done.

The bragging does not stop there as “Takers” truly do believe in their own propaganda, if they say that they are an expert, they believe it! It is rare for a “Taker” to wait for a compliment or acknowledgement of their skills because before you can comment they will have told you just how wonderful they are!

On the flip side they will compliment others; however such compliments are often regarded as ‘over the top’. “Takers” love a touch of ‘false flattery’, but beware as compliments deliver this ways will almost certainly be followed by a request for one favour or another. “Takers” are not ‘joiners’ and if they do join social or business groups it is to be seen to do so, they will rarely, if ever actively make any real contribution to blogs or debate. One of the prime reasons for this is that they find it almost impossible to ‘actively listen’.  “Takers” find it difficult to physically demonstrate that they are listening to play back their understanding of what has been said; to identify body language and gestures; to have any ability to ‘read between the lines’ and hear what has not be said and this is because “Takers” are so insular and myopic.

In my novel “Soulmate” there are “Takers”, both male and female. One character in particular I refer to as “Charm Syndrome Man” or in others words a “Taker”…an ‘emotional manipulator’.  These type of people are so hard to spot particularly as they think that they are normal and don’t believe that they are doing anything wrong.  What you have to remember about “Takers” is that at the end of the day they are only really seeking your opinion in order to valid and confirm theirs. “Takers” have an inbuilt sense of entitlement in order to get their own way……… no matter what.

So if you are dating or working with somebody that talks constantly about themselves, that never really appears to be listening to what you have to say, or that is always reliant on you for some favour or other then beware as you will most certainly be dating or working with a “Taker”.

So are you a “Giver” or a “Taker”?